ontop

So ye E,
As the noise comes out of my mind,
and as I defined this past Friday,
E should be bro or sis, or other being, for their sexuality shouldn't matter.

This is a photo from back in 2014 with 4 chicks I haven't seen in forever.
All I know, that they are like everybody else I know.

So you see this beautiful girl in pink?
Yeee, shes one I've been writing about,
Because apparently I am the only person that cares about her.

Because I look into that being,
As I've looked into every other being around me,
And I'm like, gosh aren't you truly gorgeous?

Why is it people always asking you about jealousy?
Envy?
I don't seek that.
That doesn't lie in my heart.

That comes from the hearts of others that apparently
Can't focus on themselves and fight to be a better person,
Or to look or feel more as their instinct would ask,

So they shame yew.

Awn, how sad.
How pathetic.

Beautiful girl,
You got your degrees,
You're like an engineer.

Not just any engineer.
You've got so many ideas,
About so many different things.

Things that could be put to use in the world.
Yet, beautiful girl, I'm sorry.
The news I bring you is as bitter as any folk could handle.

So you may have been born in hell.
It seems as if your unconscious may have known a thing or two about how it happened.

Then somewhere in between, you've got your photos
And you believe this time you remember facts from your childhood,

Then people start telling you about events that you can't connect in your mind.

Seems like you have a lot of memories that your brain has had the ability to hinder from your reality.

And after the intelligence, the natural gifts, the talents that only later on you were able to show,
That lingering feeling like we've done this before,
You find out,
That those that always pretended to care
Couldn't have cared less.

You've got visitors.
That come to you to show off their lives,
People that you've had by you in your childhood,
That want nothing but to see you badly hurt.

How is that possible?
How do you take the time,
Not to care?

To go see someone and shout out shit.
How do you say you are the family of someone,
Only to rape them regularly?

To take away from them their rape-children?
Even if raped, imagine, feeling someone else's heartbeat inside of you?
Playing a while on the guitar along Marylin Manson,
Only to hear that inside of you someone that may be just like you might be brewing.

Only for what??????

And you have that beautiful brain,
A person that went from no Portugues,
To hours at recess doing some algebra for this girl couldn't stop talking during class,
To missing several growing opportunities,
To suddenly writing mathematical codes that are on pair,

Not with the department of Brain and Cognitive Sciences,
But with the Aeronautics and Aerospace Department at MIT.
We went viral. Not for the good. Through the bad.

And after this chick, loops around to say,
I'm not just a body, I'm also my mind.
And when I sing A
You know I soul.

And you tell her,
That she should go to the street lights beg for some change.
When you are the 'all mighty'

the powerful man,
who's got a hold on literally every industry out there
Haven't you heard from them about ME?

Not about the ME
you wished I was.

Not about the Trash you want thrashed.
For whatever crap I learned to speak,

It came from you.
So why are you still trying to blame me for your mistakes?

Why don't you take your soot off of me,
And see the diamond within.

That dirt, is yours.
And the brilliant mind,
is also partly because of yous.

So do I deserve to lay broken hearted by every single force that lives in the universe?

To satisfy your need of attention?

Are they really all just puppetters that can't manage to form a single original thought or word to say something about all of this?

Not just about what has happened, or what's happening, but what they truly want out of the future?